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Mah Jongg Mondays

BANG. BANG. SLIDE, SLIDE.

Coffee, coffee, water, Coke, and… Tiles are all over the place. Why? Sliders are on backwards.

BANG, BANG, SLIDE, SLIDE.

We’re on the second left. No you’re wrong, it’s the first left.

You’re stopping the passing! How could you?

BANG, BANG, SLIDE, SLIDE.

You can’t do that. Yes, I can! Someone call the Mah Jongg League for the rules on that play.

BANG, BANG, SLIDE, SLIDE.

We can’t concentrate on the game with the stock market report on. It’s too depressing.Where are you going now? Can’t you at least wait until we finish this game?

BANG, BANG, SLIDE, SLIDE.

Your dog just ate all the cookies. Oh, my God, the cat caught a chipmunk.

BANG, BANG, SLIDE, SLIDE.

You want to play without a charity pot? I can’t do that, I’m on Medicare. Put the heat on. It’s freezing in here.

BANG, BANG, SLIDE, SLIDE.

Stop banging the tiles. They will crack. You talk too much. And you are too slow. It’s a game, not a life-altering decision. Throw a tile!

BANG, BANG, SLIDE, SLIDE.

Are you crazy? You gave her Mah Jongg with that tile! You didn’t realize what she was playing? She has nine tiles exposed, and we’re playing on the last ten tiles!

BANG, BANG, SLIDE, SLIDE.

If I want to eat a whole bag full of chocolate covered raisins, I will. It’s my body. Don’t tell me I’m too fat!

BANG, BANG, SLIDE, SLIDE.

You can’t have the tile. I already racked it. You have to be faster. Really, I racked it. It’s my joker! I don’t owe you money. I paid you. If fifty cents is so important I’ll pay again. I don’t want you to starve!

BANG, BANG, SLIDE, SLIDE.

You called that tile a three bam, and it’s a three dot. Isn’t there a penalty for doing that? Yes, it’s called the senile penalty, but I forgot what it does. Why are you holding up three fingers. Oh, I’ve told you that story three times? Have respect for your elders!

BANG, BANG, SLIDE, SLIDE.

You only want one tile? Just one tile?

BANG, BANG, SLIDE, SLIDE.

You need a drink? In the middle of the afternoon? It’s not the middle of the afternoon. It’s 6:30. We’ve been playing six and one-half hours. I need a drink too!

BANG, BANG, SLIDE, SLIDE.

Oh, sit down. You know you like playing Mah Jongg with the girls more than you like playing golf with the guys. We promise to let you win the
next hand!

I guess it’s time to introduce our Mah Jongg Monday players. We are friends who have known each other for years, and years, and years. The gray-headed writer is Char, the blond Kalahari tournament lady is Cheri, the auburn-haired one responsible for teaching us this game is Gayle, and our fourth is her husband Lew, who we call Louise, on Mah Jongg Mondays!

BANG, BANG, SLIDE, SLIDE.

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