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The Lost Keys

Standing in the middle of the block in front of my new sports car, digging into my purse and going through my pockets, I mumbled to myself, “Where did I put those damn keys?”

My fingers were turning blue from the ten-degree temperature, and the rest of me was freezing from standing in snow. I walked down the street and entered a small coffee shop. I settled into a booth and proceeded to empty my purse all over the table. Out of that purse fell makeup, combs, a toothbrush, my wallet, pens, an appointment book, candy, wrappers, my cell phone, a compass, rubber bands, cellophane tape, a tape measure, and tissues, but no keys.

I took my cell phone and called the Brills, with whom I had just tried my hardest to get them to love one of the houses I was hoping to sell them. No keys, and no request to see me again. What a wasted trip, and now I can’t even get out of this place, I thought.

I called my husband, Gary. “Honey, I lost my keys and can’t get into the car. Will you rescue me?”

He was less than sympathetic. “Again you lost your keys? Jesus, Susan, I just got home. There’s a blizzard out there. Did you look everywhere?”

“Yes, I’ve been looking for the last hour.”

“Susan, where are you?” 

“I don’t even know. I got so lost finding this place.”

“Just give me an address.”

“OK, 2278 Orchard. But that’s the Brills’ house. I’m really three blocks down the street in a coffee shop.”

“Fine, I’ll get the extra keys and find you.”

I sat down and threw everything back into my purse, and waited. I motioned to the waitress. “Coffee, please.”

About fifteen minutes later instead of picking me up, Gary called about the extra keys. “I’ve been looking everywhere, and I can’t find them,” he said. “I have a meeting in a half hour. Call Audi.

“Thanks a lot!” I yelled, and hung up.

But Gary was right, I thought. We bought this expensive car, and Audi was supposed to give us special service. I called.

“Ma’am, I’m very sorry, but we do not carry keys for our cars. We will have to order one from Germany.”

“What! How long will that take?”

“We should be able to get it for you in about three days.”

Now even more agitated, I started to yell: you’re kidding” into the phone, but instead I knocked into the waitress who was trying to serve me my coffee. Into the hot coffee flew my phone.

I pulled the soaking phone out of the coffee, wiped it off, and tried to use it, but it was dead. I put my head down on the table as the tears started to run down my face.

Suddenly, someone shook me and cautiously asked, “Suzi, is that really you?”

I looked up into a face I hadn’t seen in over thirty years. Standing before me was my high school sweetheart, Ron.

I got up and gave him a big hug. “Ronnie, you are the answer to my prayers. I need my car broken into, and hot wired. I lost my key!”

He laughed, as he put his arm around me, and led me to his car. “I would have done that in the ‘50s when I was young and wild. Today, I’ll drive you home, and I’ll get someone to open the car and make sure it gets back to you. I happen to own a garage.”

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